Thursday, December 13, 2007
Guest Blogger Max (sometimes aka Bad Dog)
Bad dog. I used to hear that a lot, which is kind of strange, since I’m so darned adorable, but today I had it coming. Fact is, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll admit I have a problem, you might even say it’s a bit of an obsession, but I seriously thought I had it under control.
I guess I should start at the beginning. Yesterday when Brent brought Leslie home, she had a pair of shoes. She was carrying them instead of wearing them and after she put them on the floor by the front door, she kind of left them there.
Dog’s honor, I did my best to ignore those shoes. But then this morning Brent and Leslie went out and left me here by myself. I sat in the sun by the French doors for a while, and then I checked out the stuff in Leslie’s room ‘cause it smelled like her and I like how she smells. Then I drank some water out of the toilet because Leslie doesn’t know she’s supposed to put the lid down. And then I wandered out to the living room, and that’s when I remembered they were there. I’ve seen a lot of footwear, but those were the most delectable shoes ever.
At first I just sniffed them and pushed them around with my nose. Don’t do it, Max. That’s what I kept saying to myself. I went into the kitchen and sniffed at my empty bowl. Leslie seemed to have caught on that I only get fed once a day. I picked up my teddy bear and tossed it in the air a few times, but I couldn't get those darn shoes out of my mind. That’s when I went back for another sniff, and everything went downhill from there.
Most shoes aren’t all that interesting. Sneakers, for example, do not smell very good, and they taste even worse. Brent’s work boots are just plain disgusting, although every time he puts new laces in them I chew the crunchy bits off the ends. Can’t help myself.
But these shoes of Leslie’s were beyond tempting and before I knew it, the heel was between my teeth and I was done for. So were the shoes.
A few minutes later Brent’s truck pulled into the driveway.
I high tailed into the bedroom. If you’ve already read With This Ring by Lee McKenzie, you’ll know Brent was a lot madder about the shoes than Leslie. “Max!” he yelled. “Where are you?”
Like I was going to answer that. I’m not sure how, but they found me hiding under the bed. Leslie gave me a hug and said, “Poor Max.” Brent seemed to calm down a little and he ended up taking me to the park. I think we both needed to blow off a little steam.
I’ve already told you that the park’s a great place to meet women, but today Brent didn’t seem interested. What I forgot to tell you was that the park is also a great place to meet other dogs, and today was no exception. Today I met . . . well, that's a whole other story. Check back next week and I’ll tell you all about her.